Saturday, 28 January 2012


It's not so bad, really. Lately, this pup has felt overwhelmed in a few ways.

Hawk's qualities and personality existed before there was a "Hawk". However, I've come to see certain of those as being the domain of Hawk.

Hawk has a desire to nurture and develop these traits:

Playfulness, spontaneity, openness, honesty, steadfastness, focus, creativity.

There are more I'm sure, but even that list is overwhelming to me. It's as if the bar has been raised, and my desire to bring these qualities into my life in an even more profound way has grown stronger.

Encompassing the list above is a desire to live more in the moment, to let go of the past, and worry less about the future. Hawk wants to cherish the present and not be torn between the worlds of what he's done or hasn't done or what he'll do or not do.

Its time to let go of self-judgements and doubts, or at the very least not dwell on them so much. As a friend has always reminded him: "More Joy!".

Time for less clutter, inside this pup's head as well as his living environment, both physical and virtual (does a pup really need a dozen email addresses?).

Hawk is making a promise here, to himself, to take better care of his pup mind, pup body, pup spirit. His emotional self has been on a whirlwind ride, but he always lands on his paws eventually. (ok, is that too much? :P)

I'm grateful to be surrounded by a support system of pups, handlers, masters and other peeps who have been generous with Hawk in sharing their own perspectives and experience. They, together with my Bf and our 2 bio-dogs have formed an extended family around me. Sometimes the outpouring of support and love is overwhelming and the overflow of generosity not easy to accept. But Hawk is learning to accept it and bask in it. Enjoying it and thriving.

Importantly, I've recently learned how much I rely on others for approval and acceptance (I thought I'd dealt with more of that then I really have!). So, another thing to add to my list of present aspirations is my desire to be more accepting and loving of myself. Really, that was always on the list, but the ink got a bit faded, and I sometimes forget to apply myself. So, I will continue to learn and grow with the help of those around me, but also learn to stand on my own and grow in the confidence that this pup has everything he needs :D

No need to go overboard with being overwhelmed. Sometimes it just means we're head over heels!

Tuesday, 10 January 2012


On Sunday, I had the huge pleasure of experiencing my first pup play/training session.

I went into it with a lot of excitement and anticipation. I felt very grateful for the opportunity, as it was a chance to explore my pup self in a "paws on" way, in a private space. I went in thinking of the session as a kind of "practice run" for an upcoming Pup Night this Thursday. I felt really comfortable talking about my expectations and hopes for the session. When the moment came to don my gear, I went from having a somewhat calm demeanor to a slightly more nervous one. I think it was a combination of adrenaline and excitement. I fully trusted my trainer, but I felt a bit awkward. Here I was, about to put on a hood and mitts, get down on my knees and become a dog! :D

Once my trainer began to assist me with putting on my hood and paws, I let go, and became calm again. His manner and language set me even further at ease. From this point on, it's hard to give a step by step description of what happened. I just got into it!  

Hawk experienced playing fetch, and learning commands like sit and stay. Hawk learned that he enjoys being an obedient pup, showing affection, and curling up on the couch.

Hawk is still finding his voice, but was quieter than I'd expected he'd be. He made a few small sounds, practiced growling when asked to and barked a few times too.

What started out as a "practice run" became so much more. Hawk enjoyed the attention and care he received from his trainer (and his trainer's husband) so much, and looks forward to growing and developing this new bond and friendship. I'm looking forward to the experience of future sessions and further growth as a pup!

I'm so grateful for the experience and even more excited for Pup Night now!