Thursday, 9 August 2012
Surprise! More confusion, more clarity, transformation, and smut! Also lately a kind of letting go of some concerns for "decorum".
A while back I wrote a tweet where I declared my impatience/frustration with my near universal desire to fit in to others' perceived expectations of me, to be loved and accepted etc.
Phrases like "be yourself" and "it doesn't matter what others think" and "if they don't like you fuck 'em!" are kind of cliché. I hear them a lot, and everyone agrees they're a good idea, but they're seldom really applied and lived by. We admire the few people that live by them IF we happen also to approve of their choices and accomplishments.
I have made choices here to conduct/share myself in a certain way. I write certain stuff here, certain things on twitter, other things about myself on facebook, some things in private journals, some things I only would say to a close friend and still other things to no one at all.
Again I'm faced with the daunting task of consolidating all my different avenues of expression. I'm tired of separating it all yet still afraid of breaking down those boundaries.
Lately I've been spending a lot of time at the beach with some great friends, and for whatever reason, having spent that time mostly naked and with others either into pup play or furry, I seem to have busted through a few of my blocks/fears around being judged for how I look naked. It's about time!
I finally did a pup night tonight in just a hood, mitts & jock and it felt great. (I might have even lost the jock for a bit). I'm kind of amazed at how far it all went tonight, but pleased as well. Also happy that I feel comfortable enough to share it here. Time to let go of bullshit illusions like "mystique" or fears of being labeled a "slut". Coincidentally I did label someone that tonight with my trusty Sharpie. A back makes a great canvas!
Hopefully I'll be inspired to write here more often. I've gotten some great feedback and I really appreciate it!
More to come! More to cum!