Tuesday, 30 October 2012


This month I made my debut on the Sodom Stage as a tiger in the Sodom Zombie Circus! You can check out the photos at sodom.ca or see my tagged photo folder on facebook at www.facebook.com/HawkShep

Saturday, 27 October 2012


When I posted the link to the Taboo vid yesterday, I did it with some hesitation, as up until then I'd kept each post here more about my own creations and views. I wasn't sure if I wanted to include views that might not fully overlap my own experiences or opinions. This post is a reflection on the decision to add the vid here and also inspired by some things I've read about the program that it's a part of.

Recently, a friend of mine was approached to take part in an episode of the show. While deciding whether he would or not, he asked friends and colleagues in his community to share their views and assist him in his decision to participate or not. I was fascinated with the response he got.

An overwhelming majority of people suggested that he shouldn't participate. That the producers would present the material in a bad light, focus on negative aspects etc. I haven't watched the show, except for the clip I shared, so I can't speak to the methods and content of the show. What I did find in the clip that I shared was a presentation of pup play that shared a particular set of perspectives and presented the participants stories in a somewhat matter-of-fact way.

I don't know if the participants were pleased with the results, but I didn't find the clip to be overly sensational in any way. I think that some people/human behaviours do fall out of the general public's comfort zone and do seem strange, and that's OK with me. I've done my best and continue to embrace my own difference and peculiarities the best way I can, whether they fall into the sex category or not. I believe it's my job to be myself and share myself. True, sometimes people will judge me or misunderstand me, or take what I say and do and interpret it their own way. That's always gonna happen, in the media, or in personal conversations. We all have a love of judgement & categorization in our own ways. It's a way to feel safe and in control.

Over this year I've had opportunities to share my story and myself, and have generally been pleased with my progress and the response. When my words/actions have been reflected back to me, I haven't always found it to be a true reflection. Its been filtered or muddled sometimes in slight ways. Overall though, I've found the pursuit of sharing worthwhile. Others' filters and interpretations will always co-mingle, just as when they share with us, we apply out own judgements and lenses.

My friend decided to not participate in the show for his own reasons and I fully support that. He decided it was the best course of action for him, and I believe he made his decision after careful thought and from a methodical & logical space. Many of the responses he received though, seemed to come from a fear perspective. These were people accusing the show of being dramatic and unfair, while they themselves were coming from a space of hateful hysteria. They meant well I'm sure. It's not that I find their views invalid. They're a reminder to me to be more precise in my choice of words sometimes, and of my own fears, judgements and limitations.

I will continue to take the opportunities that present themselves to share more and be more open, perhaps risking the odd "lost in translation' moment :)

Friday, 26 October 2012


An episode of Taboo on the National Geographic Channel presents some people's perspectives on pup play.